Choose to Live

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Do you know how loved you are?

Yes, you.

You, staring at the screen this very moment. You, who are wondering if every breath is still worth it. You, who can't fathom that somebody might still love you because you no longer love yourself. You, who are thinking of taking that awful leap into oblivion.

I've stood on that precipice and looked into the gaping abyss below. It is a beguiling choice when you loathe yourself and believe that the lives of those you love would be better without you. Indeed, what some call the most selfish of acts is one you feel would be the most selfless.

However, you must know the truth.

In your absence you will leave chaos. Shock, grief, anger and guilt will all battle with one another in the minds of those you've left behind. They will hold themselves accountable for kind words unspoken and good deeds undone. They will know guilt in the anger they feel towards you. For they will be so very, very angry with you at times because they love you so very, very much.

Those you were around most often may struggle with feeling that you must have disliked them to want to leave them. Confusion will hound them with one question continually.

Why?

It's the one question that even a carefully written note of explanation can't satisfy. There is no acceptable answer and there never will be because it is not acceptable that you are dead and that you chose it.

The ripples of your decision will reach people you never even knew. For those who know people who love you, will mourn with them. There will be those who never knew you or anyone who cared about you who will mourn for you and yours when they hear your story, simply because they know the pain of suicide in their own lives. The scars of your decision may never fully heal.

If there is any part of your mind still open to reason then I ask you to realize two things.

First, you have a choice.

Turn away from the abyss. There is nothing there for you. Choose to keep living life, one breath at a time if needed. Choose pain, choose emotion, choose to believe you just might be wrong about leaving.

Second, you are so loved.

You may not feel it or recognize it but it is unequivocally true. For besides countless others who value association and friendship with you, I love you. I love you and I empathize with you because I know your struggle. My heart breaks for it. But I promise you that it is not insurmountable.

Choose to live.